Saturday, May 8, 2010

Mother's Day mania..Day 4

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Today's theme for Mother's Day Mania with Mama M is "What do you enjoy most about being a mom?"

Well I remember way back when I had decided I wanted to have a baby. Mr. M and I had been married for a few years and he was deployed for half of our first year of marriage. I got it into my head that I needed a baby so even when he went away I would have someone with me..sounds crazy and immature I know but that was my reasoning back then.  By the time I had my first daughter I was confused and young and scared. It seriously took me a few years before I thought I was even a decent mother. I would get stressed out and angry a lot...yes back then no one really spoke about post pardum depression and I had no idea what was wrong with me.  By the time my oldest daughter was 2 I had finally settled into being a mom and I was so greatful for having made it through those first few years.  I now had this super busy and active toddler and I was enjoying every single minute of it. At the same time I was determined that this was it and we were having no more kids. It was a lot of work..hoy cow!!!  By the time our daughter was 5 I started getting the itch and decided I wanted more kids. I saw all kinds of people around me with their multiple kids and I was ready for another one. It took a while to get pregnant again and all that time I was so ready and wanting another baby. By the time I got pregnant with our second daughter I was so happy I could barely contain my excitement. Even though throughout the entire pregnancy I swore I was having a boy...man was I wrong!  I had a lot of health issues with the pregnancy and as soon as the doctor told me that they weren't sure if my body could handle another pregnancy I was crushed. At that point I didn't know if I wanted any more kids but having someone tell you you can't have any more kids just breaks your heart! I was so devastated!!  Mr. M would always say "but I thought we were done after this one" and all I would say was "well I thought I was done after the first but look at me now"  it really was hard to handle for me.
  By the time our second was born I was blissfully happy and couldn't even imagine my life without my precious little girls.  I am sure every mother feels this way about their kids but I seriously think that my girls saved my life.  I had no idea what I would do with my life but being a mom just made me feel whole.  Once I had DD2 and had found my happy place in life I then decided to go back to school and finish the degree I had to quit when I got married.  Long story about moving to another state and them not accepting half my credits and me being young and dumb I gave up..yupp I was stupid!!  So I did it!! I finished my degree and couldn't be more happy with myself and my life.
  So not only do I love being a mom but I truly believe that becoming a mom gave my life the purpose I was longing for. Since I had my girls I have wanted to improve my life because of them.  I want to be someone they look up to and are proud of. Someone that someday they will come to and say "mom we are proud of you and are greatful for everything you have done for us"...yeah a girl can hope right?!! LOL
  So pretty much the best thing I love about being a mom is just that "being a mom"! Being a role model for my girls and giving them someone to look up to and something to strive to be like when they grow up. If I can accomplish anything in my life it would be to make my girls the best they can be and very strong women who will take the world by storm and make me so proud to say I am their mom!!

3 comments:

Beth said...

Happy Mother's Day, Mrs. M!

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Happy Mother's Day! What a beautiful post, I did the same with having a second one. Bad times with me and my hubs and my thought was to have a 2nd child. I would change it for the world but my thinking wasn't the right. God had a plan and thankfully it worked out beautiful but I think as mom we all make mistakes and find our own :).

New follower :)

Mama M. said...

Wow...it is amazing, how our kids give our lives purpose and direction!

Loved your post...

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